I enjoy crocheting (I’m good at it). I don’t enjoy knitting (we’re talking … really bad). 

I know that if I took the time to practice I would get better at knitting and enjoy it, but I tend to fall back onto crocheting (because I do it well and, let’s be real, the effort it would take to learn to knit well is a bit daunting).

What does this have to do with marriage (you might ask)?

When you look at your marriage, what do you feel “good” and “bad” about ? Would getting “better” at what you feel “bad” about make it easier and nicer for you? For your husband? What would it take to get “better”? What would you have to learn? What would you have to practice? What kind of motivation do you need?

I would encourage y’all to talk to your husband about these questions. How do you practically work on something that is difficult in your marriage and turn it into a success, something that you can enjoy? 

The best way out of a difficulty is through it. Will Rogers

Nothing is more important than this moment ~ Listening (from (in)courage)

I like this post ~ Living a life with assurance  ~ Confident action applied to your marriage, what would that look like? (from Ferguson Values)

Daily Generous Wife Tips

Even the most careful cook sometimes finds that they’ve drizzled a little something on the burner. Usually the smoke and smell are the first indication that a spill has happened. So how do you clean an electric coil burner that’s been drizzled on?

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: 20 minutes

Here’s How:

1. Remove the completely cooled burners.

   Once the burners have completely cooled, remove them from the cook top area. Most burners unplug from the main part of the stove. If you have questions about how to remove your burners, refer to your manufacturer’s instructions for best practices.

2. Begin with dish soap and water.

   Use a cleaning cloth and a mild dish soap and water to try to remove residue at first. Because the burner coils cook off most food that comes into contact with them, a mild wipe down is often all that is needed. Don’t submerge the burners or any electrical portion in water.

3. Remove stuck on food.

   If mild dish soap and water wouldn’t remove stuck or burnt on food, try making a baking soda and water paste to gently scrub residue off of the electric burner coil. Really tough stains may benefit from allowing the baking soda paste to sit on the burner for up to 20 minutes, before scrubbing. Be sure to rinse thoroughly.

4. Clean the drip pans.

   If your cook top has removable drip pans, this is the time to remove and clean those as well. Dump out any charred remnants of food. Wipe them down and replace them before replacing the burners.

5. Maintain the burners.

   For regular maintenance of electric coil burners, just wiped down the burners at the same time you wipe down the top of the stove.

What You Need

• Cleaning cloth
• Mild dish soap
• Water
• Baking soda

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Total Effects fights 7 signs of aging (fine lines and wrinkles, rough texture, uneven skin tone, dullness, prominent pores, age spots, and dryness) by: • Minimizing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles • Moisturizing to soothe and nourish dry skin • Balancing color and tone while reducing the appearance of age spots • Smoothing skin’s texture with gentle exfoliation • Refining to minimize pore appearance • Protecting skin’s surface with antioxidants • Firming skin’s appearance with hydration Oil-Free. Fast-Absorbing. Dermatologically tested. Non-Comedogenic (Won’t Clog Pores).For those concerned about multiple signs of aging, this daily facial moisturizer provides the benefit of 7 anti-aging therapies in 1 formula. Line Minimization: Reduces the appearance of fine wrinkles. Nourishing Moisturization: For a radiant, healthy glow. Tone Enhancement: Balances color & reduces appearance of age spots. Gentle Exfoliation: Smoothes and evens skin texture. Pore Refinement: Minimizes the appearance of pores. Free Radical Defense: Helps prevent damage to skin’s surface. Subtle Lifting: Hydrates for firmer skin appearance. Visibly younger-looking skin with an appearance that’s more resilient to aging. It provides the total anti-aging power of moisture fused with vitamins and anti-oxidants. THIS EXCLUSIVE FORMULA IS: Dermatologically tested, Non-Comedogenic (won’t clog pores), Oil-free and Fast-Absorbing.

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Written by Kayla – Oregon State University

I first noticed Alex‘s style when we met backstage at the recent Mom’s Weekend Fashion Show our school put on. She looked so put together even though she was just helping out as a dresser. Alex said she loves to dress up and wears this kind of outfit all the time around campus, especially now that the Oregon weather is cooperating. Read on to meet her!

Alex 101

Name: Alex

College: Oregon State University

Major: Psychology

Year: Freshman, class of 2015

Let’s Talk Fashion

Who or what inspires your style? “I’m inspired by street style – If I see something I like, I think of ways I could do it my way to mix it up.”

Where do you like to shop? “Forever 21 and thrift stores are my mainstays.”

How would you describe your sense of style? “A little on the edgy side. I love studs and jewelry is an obsession of mine. The things I wear aren’t what most people would wear every day but when they see it, they often like it too.”

Why did you choose this particular outfit? “Practical reasons, actually. I put my hair up so people could see the feathers on my shirt, but also because I knew I’d be running around backstage. Shorts, because I knew I would get hot; and high-waisted ones because they are flattering. Flats, because I wore heels the other day, and I knew these would be more comfy.”

What fashion advice would you give to other students looking to improve their style? “Buy interesting, bold pieces, and they MUST be flattering and comfortable so that getting dressed in the morning isn’t difficult. That way you can just grab whatever and still look good.”

What are you favorite trends right now? “High-waisted shorts and intense wedges.”

Who are your favorite designers? “One of the student designers, Jennifer Truong, after seeing her corsets at the fashion show!”

What do you like to do for fun? “Fashion shows are fun to do but so is just hanging out with my friends. I need time by myself, as well, to just relax.”

If you could raid anyone’s closet, who would it be and why? “Rihanna, because everything she wears is edgy, sexy, and different.”

Elements of Alex’s Outfit

1. Ombre Hair and Silver Earrings

As you can see, Alex is sporting the ombre hair trend in a classy ponytail, which suits her style really well. Dangly, statement-making silver earrings add some flash to the look.

2. Pleather Shorts and Feather Print Top

I love how Alex’s look combines three spring trends we’ve talked about recently on CF: Digitally printed graphics, leather shorts, and high-waisted shorts. It’s clear that this girl knows her trends! At the same time, she doesn’t look like a fashion victim because all of these trends reflect her edgy sense of style.

3. Cheetah Flats

Animal print shoes are a wardrobe must-have – they pair well with literally everything and are a fun way to add a little extra pizzaz to any look. In addition, printed flats like Alex’s are perfect for staying comfy while running around campus.

What do you think?

What do you think about Alex’s style? Would you wear black pleather shorts? What would you pair with it? What do you think about ombre hair? Let us know with a comment!

Posted on on May 19, 2012 / Filed Under: Looks on Campus / Tags: cheetah print, Feathers, Looks on Campus, Ombre Hair, Oregon State University, Shorts

College Fashion

Rachel asks: “I can’t get a hot guy to talk to me, no matter what I do. They only want to talk to the really gorgeous girls, which I’m not. I’m not ugly though, and I think I’m a pretty cool person with a lot to offer. What do I have to do to get a cute, great guy interested in me?”

Ah, Rachel. I think most young women (and men, for that matter) ask a similar question at some point in their in their youth. Actually, that’s not true: I think we all wonder at times why, for whatever reason, some people are more attracted to other people than they are us. I’ve spoken to women in every age bracket with some variation of this question, so I don’t think you’re alone in your quest or frustration, nor do I think it an unusual one. If anything, it takes courage to ask something so raw, and for that I applaud you.

To the meat of your question however, there are two answers I can give you:

• If someone doesn’t think you’re amazing, it’s time to focus on the people who think you are; and
• Physical attraction is only one aspect of a romantic relationship, and although very important, not the only factor you need to look at when “trying to get a guy to talk to you”.

Let me clarify a bit, starting with the first point. For those of us who aren’t stunningly beautiful, who don’t stop cars on the street or who don’t sport movie-star looks when we roll out of bed, we have to do more than just look good to attract someone. In my opinion, that’s a good thing. I’d much rather that someone found me hot because of the way my mind works, how I raise my children, or a twinkle in my eye than my physicality. We look different as we age, and our bodies will likely not remain the same either, so if someone finds me interesting or “hot”, I hope it’s because of who I am as a person and something that probably won’t change much. In turn, I look for these same qualities in anyone I’ve dated, because they have to sport more than just a great body or a pretty face for me to find them attractive.

I realize I’m not in the majority with this mindset, and have been told many, many times throughout the years by friends and coaching clients that it’s unreasonable to think physicality doesn’t matter when it comes to meeting someone. See, I agree, but want to put it out there that there’s more than just oh-my-gawd-he’s-so-hot-I’m-going-to-puke-right-now-if-I-look-him-in-the-eye to a dating relationship. There has to be for it to have legs, and thus, why I urge you to focus more on people that (a) appreciate more than just your physical beauty, and (b) take on the same behavior yourself.

For those of you who feel I haven’t answered Rachel’s question, I’ll give you one more tidbit that may or may not be helpful: there are few things more attractive than confidence. Work on any self-doubts you have, find your inner spark, cultivate a cheerful mindset, and make yourself happy, and men of all kinds will flock to you.

What do you think, dear readers? Is there some magic thing you can do to make a “hot” guy talk to you, or interested in pursuing something? Have you done it, and if so, how? Or, do you disagree with my advice entirely, and think we should all strive for something different?

_{Related: New Law of Attraction? Have Them Come To You, Physical Attraction Makes Us Less Able To Make A Good Impression, Is He Interested? Quiz, How Much Do Looks Matter?, Peacocking, Zsa Zsa Zu.}

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Question: What Is the Difference Between All Purpose and Multi Purpose Cleaners?

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I’m reading one of the reported “best books of all time,” Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Nearly smack dab in the middle of the book, I was struck by a character’s experiences of entering marriage. Levin had adored and loved Kitty for many years and dreamed of marrying her. Finally, the stars aligned and they were engaged. They had an elaborate wedding and went off into the country to begin their lives together. Levin never expected petty annoyances to get in the way of their love, and he was surprised how easily this happened. I want to share a short excerpt from the book, because I think it offers a great image of expectations along with reality.

“He was happy; but on entering upon family life he saw at every step that it was utterly different from what he had imagined. At every step he experienced what a man would experience who, after admiring the smooth, happy course of a little boat on a lake, should get himself into that little boat. He saw that it was not at all sitting still, floating smoothly; that one had to think too, not for an instant to forget where one was floating; and that there was water under one, and that one must row; and that his unaccustomed hands would be sore; and that it was only to look at that was easy; but that doing it, though very delightful, was very difficult.”

Tolstoy goes on to say, “As a bachelor, when he had watched other people’s squabbles, the jealousy, he had only smiled contemptuously in his heart. In his future married life there could be, he was convinced, nothing of the sort…”

I thought the description was fitting for life and for marriage. We often envision a future that is nearly perfect like that little boat floating along. But once we get farther down our path and feel the sun beating down on the rocking boat and realize that it’s work to maneuver the boat, we are surprised. It doesn’t mean it’s not delightful, but that it requires our effort can sometimes be unexpected. Levin sees his life as “suffused with the brilliant light of happiness” so it’s not that he is disappointed in marriage. However, his expectations were simply different from reality, at least at the beginning.

In many ways, we have expectations for our partner that are different from our reality, often not in a bad way, just different.  Keeping perspective on this might help us maneuver through some of the potential conflicts in relationships.  

I’ve often heard young parents make a similar confession, saying that they always imagined what perfect parents they would be until the real child rearing challenges became apparent. It doesn’t mean they don’t love the role of parenting, just that it was far different from their expectations.  Forgiving ourselves from our parenting mistakes becomes just as important as forgiving our partner for their perceived failings.

What expectations do you still carry with you into your marriage? What petty annoyances are you allowing to create division with your mate? How do you dream about and picture your future 10 or 20 years from now? And what advice do you have for those starry-eyed couples about to be wed?

Lori Lowe is the author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available  at Amazon.com and in all e-book formats at www.LoriDLowe.com.

 Photo by Noomhh courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

Marriage Gems

The Bottom Line

People with allergies and sensitivities to harsh cleaners should try Kaboom Shower, Tub and Tile cleaner. It offers good cleaning ability without the need to wear protective masks and clothing. It works well on almost all of the surfaces of your bathroom making it a convenient cleaner. The foaming action is powerful enough for moderately dirty bathrooms, and perfect for maintenance. Overall Kaboom packs a powerful punch without being as harsh on your skin and breathing.

Pros

• No harsh fumes that make cleaning unbearable
• Foaming action clings to surfaces loosening dirt.
• Can be used for multiple surfaces in the bathroom.

Cons

• Really dirty surfaces may need a harsher product, or more elbow grease with this one.
• No bleach, which makes mildew removal more difficult.

Description

• Test in a hidden spot first.
• After applying to surface, or to sponge, allow to sit for 2-3 minutes.
• Wipe and rinse thoroughly. Don’t allow it to dry on the surface.
• Repeat as necessary.

Guide Review – Kaboom Shower, Tub and Tile Cleaner

The foaming action is really great with Kaboom Shower, Tub and Tile cleaner. Some purchasers may be turned off by the retail price of around 5 dollars. Remember though that this cleaner works on your tub, shower, doors, sink, tile, and more. It cleans nicely without being harsh on you. Normally when I clean a bathroom, I leave a window open and a fan pulling air to ventilate to make sure I can breathe and see while I’m cleaning. Even without my standard ventilation, Kaboom Shower, Tub, and Tile cleaner didn’t make me cough, cause my eyes to tear up, or make my skin feel irritated. My 5 year old daughter normally runs to another room to avoid the smell when I clean the bathroom, but her only comment was, “Hey. It doesn’t smell thick.”

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