A Frugal Marriage Equals More Passion
June 7, 2010 by
Filed under Marriage
Editor’s Note: Originally published March 31, 2008.
For the past several months, my wife and I were making preparations to place our house on the market. We weren’t looking to move to an enormous house, but since we have two kids now, we were looking to gain another bedroom and a bit more storage space. After several weeks of preparation and organization, a couple of things became clear.
1. We have a lot of junk in our house. No wonder we are tight on storage space, we have too much stuff. As part of the organizing, we got rid of 2 pickup truck loads of stuff, and we still have too much of it left. Half the garage is now housing most of this until we do more purging.
2. The houses that would be a “move up” in space and amenities were more than we wanted to spend. For the past several years my wife and I have been working to live below our means. To move would stretch us a little beyond where we want to be, not that we can’t afford it, but why try to afford it? Part of living within a simple marriage is to live simply.
After deciding not to go through with the process, a tremendous weight was lifted off both our shoulders. We have now begun making plans on getting out of debt and traveling more with the kids. In other words, living life more alive and less tied to things and stuff.
This process has made us realize how easily you can be trapped into living according to a perceived expectation of society. How did society evolve to the point that when you have x number of kids living in an x number of bedroom house, you must get a bigger house in order for everyone to have their own room and an office and a playroom and on and on it goes. Didn’t our parents grow up with 2 or more kids in the same room? Plus, I heard that they walked to school through snow uphill both ways.
It seems we have begun to feel entitled to a certain lifestyle. A certain amount of luxuries. But at what cost?
Since my wife and I have decided not to move there has been a new level of passion and love in the house. We are less worried about the finances. Spending more time with the kids. Planning future trips and excursions. Getting away on the weekend for fun.
This past Saturday we went bike riding with the kids in tow, literally (they were in a bike trailer behind my bike). We had mud up to our knees, ruined our shoes, and had a blast the whole time.
I think there is a correlation between living within or below your means and passion in marriage. There is less stress. Less worry. Room for more adventure.
Try it. Spend some time organizing the house. De-clutter. Then spend the time planning an adventure together. Spend time with friends. Serve others. In other words, live and enjoy life. And if you still have time to spare, you can come to my house and help me clear out my garage of all my stuff.
Photo courtesy Bento Business
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Loved this post! We can really relate. Our garage is full at the moment de-cluttering our home as well. My 4 yr old boy and 1.5 yr old girl are sharing a room and love each other’s company. It was an adjustment at first, but I think they love being together. Have fun loving your home!
We bought our starter house the year we got married and never planned on staying more than 4-5 years. 7 years and two kids later it was time to move up to the “family size” home. We listed earlier this year, hoping to sell by April and get the house credit. Lucky for us, it didn’t sell. We have done a ton of decluttering – both the house and our life goals. We’ve decided the area we’d like to settle in is outside of our price range while we’re still paying for daycare. But instead of feeling like we’re settling for our little house we’re enjoying finding new ways to organize our home to work for our life.
And added bonus, instead of using our tax rebate toward a bigger down payment, we used it to become debt free outside of our small mortgage.
wow! Perfect article at the perfect time. In years past my husband & debated about building a larger house in x amount of years. Now that we’re trying to start our family; we realize our house (and all of its remodels) is really perfect for us. We have room to add more bedrooms if need be and our *future* children will share their bedrooms if we have as many in our brood as I’d like. Ha!Ha!
) It has lifted that “this isn’t enough attitude” and we’re even discussing becoming a one car family once the kiddos arrive!
Well done Corey!
My wife and I recently decided to upgrade from a 1-bedroom to a 2-bedroom apartment. We’ve deliberated for a few months now, back and forth whether we should move or not. We could afford it, but didn’t want to possibly stretch ourselves too much. However, in the last year, we’ve started looking for a bigger place twice now, so apparently we’re not happy with the space that we have.
We’re only moving because it answers most of the dis-satisfactions with our current apartment, it’s well within our comfort range price-wise, and it is in a nicer location than our current apartment (one of the dis-satisfactions). Having more room to expand our stuff (instead of buying new things to fill the space) will allow my wife to relax and live in a less-cluttered space. Which will provide her, and so me, with much peace of mind.
I certainly agree! Only upgrade when you need to. And make sure you know the differences between need and want.