Newlywed’s hubby has turned into a slob.any ideas?
November 6, 2009 by Blessings From Home
Filed under Marriage
Annie asked:
My niece age 26 is married now for 9 months. Her hubby is 29. While they lived together, he was semi-clean so she had no red flags that he was lazy or messy. However, now that they are married, it appears this has given him a license to now be a total slob. He suddenly can’t remember where the garbage can is or hot to get the dirty clothes in the basket. He won’t lift a finger, and he doesn’t seem to care how bad the place gets. She doesn’t want to be a nag, but feels that she picks up after him just like a child. Do you have any suggestions on how to get him to start picking up after himself? Thanks!!!
My niece age 26 is married now for 9 months. Her hubby is 29. While they lived together, he was semi-clean so she had no red flags that he was lazy or messy. However, now that they are married, it appears this has given him a license to now be a total slob. He suddenly can’t remember where the garbage can is or hot to get the dirty clothes in the basket. He won’t lift a finger, and he doesn’t seem to care how bad the place gets. She doesn’t want to be a nag, but feels that she picks up after him just like a child. Do you have any suggestions on how to get him to start picking up after himself? Thanks!!!
let the house get dirty. When he says something about it, then the talk may commence. But if she continues to clean up after him, he will continue to act that way.
ha! I wish I knew!
Good luck,,, some men are such slobs there is no help! but let the house go… see if he likes liveing that way and he may start to help!
tell her to stop cleaning after him so that he can see the consequences of his laziness…
She needs to tell him “get off your butt!” She shouldn’t nag she should expect, and she needs to communicate to him how she expects him to act. We teach people how to treat us and what they can get away with, she needs to nip this in the butt now before it gets even worse.
NOTHING will change this adults behavior…she has to deal or split
Well gee how nice for an Aunt to get into their house cleaning…I am sure he would be thrilled to know that his cleaning habits – or lack thereof is making the family discussion rounds.
Tell her to grow a backbone and tell him to clean up after himself that she is his wife and not his maid. And if that doesn’t work then let him wallow in his own mess – when he runs out of clean clothes, dishes and edible food I am sure he will change his mind.
P.S. Semi-clean means he was a slob before but she thought he would change…..oops
may be tit for tat could teach him…..do same as he does let the house go for some time he himself will reallize …
I don’t know what the fuss is about. You leave your clothes laying on the floor and they magically appear clean, folded and hung back up. What? No leprechauns at their house?
Seriously, without nagging, she needs to explain that he needs to do more. Maybe have him start with doing his own laundry? Anything to make him more aware.
fs
They need to sit down and discuss how the house is going to be run. There should be agreement on who will do what, when, etc.
If he refuses to participate—-off to marriage counseling with them! If she lets him continue, she will be his maid forever.
He wanted to marry his mother.
Tell her to only do her own laundry. Leave his in a pile.
Only wash and clean her own dishes. Do not cook at all. Only make herself food.
He will wonder what the heck is going on. When he pitches in he will get her back to her old self.